Keep in Mind...

remember, its the middle of the night, and I'm on a fresh dose of pain killers, but I thought I'd post what I know. When Jeremy left the hospital last night Tucker was doing better. He had to have his tube adjusted and didn't tolerate it well, but once they opted to try and just leave him be as much as possible he started to calm down again. I remember when Maeli was born she didn't like having her position shifted, or being passed from person to person. She wanted to get comfortable and stay like that...sounds like Tucker is the same way, my kids just don't like change I guess. I've been up and out of bed once, and my doctor is going to come and see me first thing so we can talk about getting out of here, but a few crucial things have to happen first to be safe and they haven't really let me try to run my laps yet. If doesn't look like I'm going to be able to head out tomorrow we're hoping we can find someone to go to Spokane and spend some time with Jeremy. He's feeling a little helpless and I'm hoping some company will make some of the time go faster. But I really hope that company gets to be me. Tucker will have chest X-Rays in the morning to see if his lungs are opening up a little better. At last check the Left was working on it, and his right was still pretty goopy. Its sad for me to think if I could have kept him in there a little longer he would have been fine, but there was no way for anyone to know that at his size, he'd still be a little shy of ready. I trust the doctors and I trust that Jeremy knew what he was saying when he gave me a blessing last night. "the emotional and physical strength the endure the days ahead." First, days seems short, especially coming from the Lord, so I feel good about that. Second, I really do feel emotionally like thing will be alright. I'm yearning to snuggle him, but they wouldn't let me anyway, so maybe its better I'm not up there yet. The other thing is that Tucker's blessing indicated that he would be home with his family that loves him soon...I'm hoping that means us, and that the Lord's soon is similar to mine. In any even I am so grateful to have such a wonderful support system and I thank everyone who is praying for us and has offered to do whatever they can. I do promise to let you know what we need when it comes up. I'm going back to sleep know what my medicine is kicking in. We'll see what the morning update brings from Spokane.