Pictures

Tucker on Friday the 27th


Dad, Mom & Tucker on Thursday the 26th...can't wait to get Maeli in there too!

Friday

Jeremy survived a day in Pullman without us, but is quite anxious to see his baby in the morning. Mom, Maeli, and I got to the hospital this morning and I was able to spend most of the day touching Tucker. It was wonderful! He is doing well, and they've started to feed him a little bit through a feeding tube. An attempt was made to take him off the blood pressure medicine completely, but he's back on it, in a low dose for now. He's getting stronger and little more feisty, they try to let him be as active as he wants to be until he starts pulling at his tubes, then they have to help him relax a little bit. But we continue to move in the right direction, they're hoping to take out the tube by Monday, but we'll see how the weekend goes. He won't get to come home until he can breath and eat on his own. But we'll take it one day at a time.

I am so sorry to all my friends who so badly want to talk to me, I promise that I would call if there was something that I needed, but actually talking to other women about my sick baby just tears me apart. Blogging is one thing, and he really is doing well, but I'm holding things together as best as I can, and I fear that calling any of you back would push me over the edge. Thank you for your calls, and in a few days I'll start calling people back. In the mean time please keep praying and thinking of us and I appreciate all your efforts, I just can't talk about it in real life yet.

Update

We're in Pullman now getting some chores and errands done while we're here for my Doctor's appointment. We went to see Tucker this morning before we left. They've been able to lower his blood pressure medicine a lot, and they think he might even be off of it by morning. He was more alert when they were doing his diaper and stuff at lunch time, and he's basically having a good day. We're all going to try and gets lots of sleep so that we can be back to Spokane in the morning. Jeremy has to stay in Pullman tomorrow so he can go to class in preparation for his mid-terms on Monday...bad timing. We'll all be together in Spokane again for the weekend, and hopefully by Monday we'll have more great news, and Jeremy will have been able to study at least a little.

A long but good day

We had trouble finding an Internet connection...sorry. Tucker had a good day, we got to help change his diaper, and touch him a lot more. I got to help clean his neck, and keep his mouth moist. They flipped him onto his belly for a while, to give him a little variety, he actually looked more comfortable that way. His XRay looked better today, and he had an ECG, but we won't know how that turned out until the morning. He seemed a little more alert, more kicking and a little fighting of the tube, but they're not keeping him as medicated, so that's a good thing. They also gave him some blood, just to give him a little more energy, and help him feel a little better. We're all pretty worn out, physically and emotionally. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in Pullman, so we have to head over there after our morning visit, I'm hoping we won't have to leave to many times without the whole family. I just realized that we don't have any pictures of Jeremy with the baby, mostly because he's usually taking them, but Jeremy is very actively involved with taking to doctors and nursing, and doing everything they'll let him do with Tucker.

Here He Is!

Ummm...the "Fresh" look?

The First time I got to see him

At the NICU..he's by far the biggest guy in the room!
Officially the third time I saw him, but the first time that lasted over 40 seconds.
He's still making slow progress, and it sounds like it'll be a few days still before we get to hold him, but everyone is confident that WHEN, not if, he gets better he'll be strong and healthy. Maeli can't see him, but I think that's probably good, she doesn't really understand that's he born yet, and I think she would be scared. I feel better having seem him and I did get to touch him a little. We'll be back in the morning to see how the night went, but he is really cute and even opened his eyes a little bit for me.

Green Light

I'm going to go see my new Baby...I'll upload pictures when we get to Spokane and I look at him for a while.

Touched

Jeremy's sister Glenna and her family drove up to Spokane from Vancouver last night so that they could be with Jeremy at the hospital. Jeremy sounds a lot better on the phone and I feel so much better knowing that he's not alone. I know there are dozens of people who offered and who are willing to do anything we need right now, and I appreciate it all so much. There isn't much news on Tucker; Glenna, who is also an ICU nurse thinks he looks really good. It makes me feel better to have a medical and yet a personal point of view. I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone we know. We're probably still looking at a stressful few days, but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

No Go

Saw the doctor this morning, he wants me to push it a little today and we'll talk about going home tomorrow morning. He just wants to make sure that I'm in a little better shape before he sends me off, so I'm getting my last dose of anti-biotics this morning, and then it sounds like I'll get to shower and try to get to feeling normal. I was really hoping that I would get to see Tucker today, but Jeremy is going to call me as soon as he gets the update from the new shift of nurses and everyone.

Mornin'

I called Deaconess this morning when I woke up. Tucker had a good night and his X-rays looks better this morning than it did when we got there. I think the nurse was trying to not give me too much info over the phone, so I'm sure I'll get more of a scoop when Jeremy gets to the hospital today. I haven't seen my doctor yet so I'm not sure what the plan is for me. I might be jumping the gun a little in my hopes of getting out today, but I'm anxious to see my boys.

Keep in Mind...

remember, its the middle of the night, and I'm on a fresh dose of pain killers, but I thought I'd post what I know. When Jeremy left the hospital last night Tucker was doing better. He had to have his tube adjusted and didn't tolerate it well, but once they opted to try and just leave him be as much as possible he started to calm down again. I remember when Maeli was born she didn't like having her position shifted, or being passed from person to person. She wanted to get comfortable and stay like that...sounds like Tucker is the same way, my kids just don't like change I guess. I've been up and out of bed once, and my doctor is going to come and see me first thing so we can talk about getting out of here, but a few crucial things have to happen first to be safe and they haven't really let me try to run my laps yet. If doesn't look like I'm going to be able to head out tomorrow we're hoping we can find someone to go to Spokane and spend some time with Jeremy. He's feeling a little helpless and I'm hoping some company will make some of the time go faster. But I really hope that company gets to be me. Tucker will have chest X-Rays in the morning to see if his lungs are opening up a little better. At last check the Left was working on it, and his right was still pretty goopy. Its sad for me to think if I could have kept him in there a little longer he would have been fine, but there was no way for anyone to know that at his size, he'd still be a little shy of ready. I trust the doctors and I trust that Jeremy knew what he was saying when he gave me a blessing last night. "the emotional and physical strength the endure the days ahead." First, days seems short, especially coming from the Lord, so I feel good about that. Second, I really do feel emotionally like thing will be alright. I'm yearning to snuggle him, but they wouldn't let me anyway, so maybe its better I'm not up there yet. The other thing is that Tucker's blessing indicated that he would be home with his family that loves him soon...I'm hoping that means us, and that the Lord's soon is similar to mine. In any even I am so grateful to have such a wonderful support system and I thank everyone who is praying for us and has offered to do whatever they can. I do promise to let you know what we need when it comes up. I'm going back to sleep know what my medicine is kicking in. We'll see what the morning update brings from Spokane.

Last I heard they had Tucker on 50% oxygen and he's still able to keep his levels up where they should be, so it sounds like he's getting the hang of this breathing business, but he's still inti-bated. Jeremy sounds stressed out, but he seems to be coping okay. Please keep him in your thoughts. I'm doing well, they're having me pump and whatever I have they're sending to Spokane so when Tucker's ready he'll have something to eat. I'm feeling good physically and haven't had to take a ton of pain killers. I'm not on an IV anymore, but I haven't gotten to try to stand up yet. Grandma and Maeli are going to come back to the hospital tonight and hang out until bed time, and then hopefully we'll have some good news in the morning.

Doing Good

Jeremy called again and Tucker is doing well and it sounds like even making some progress in the right direction.

Spokane

Jeremy just called, they made it to the hospital in Spokane, Tucker had to have some blood pressure medicine in flight, but he's tolerating the lung treatment well. The doctors are with him and then it sounds like Jeremy will get to hang out with Tucker while he's getting better. Thank you Kim for making arrangements for Jeremy for the night, he sounded very relieved to not have to think about it, you're the best.

I'm still un-numbing from the spinal, but they're going to try and let me leave ASAP so that I can go be with Tucker...they're hoping sometime tomorrow, but we'll see how things go. So far I haven't had to have blood yet, but my levels were a little low at last check, we're just keeping an eye on things. Maeli is at school and Grandma is going to pick her up this afternoon so she can come visit me for a little while....we're doing a lot of "see how things go" right now.

oh yeah...

We did take some pictures, but Jeremy took the camera with him to Spokane so I can't down load them. He's a cutie though, and Gramma thinks he looks like Maeli.

He's Here...Sort Of

Tucker was born at 7:53 this morning. 7 pounds 12 oz. He's having trouble breathing so they're flying him to Spokane. I don't have too much info, but they're pretty sure he's going to be fine. Doctor Hall and Jeremy gave him a blessing before things got too crazy. I'll keep you posted as I know stuff...meanwhile I'm doing alright (actually better than Jeremy right now) and hanging out with mom at the hospital.

They brought him in so I could touch and see him before the plane left. Because of the weather they're taking a plane instead of the helicopter so they had room for Jeremy. He's going to call me when they get settled up there.

Getting close...

I've got my scrubs on and we are going to take Beth to the OR in just a few minutes.

At the hospital...

We just got to the hospital and they are hooking up Beth to monitors and putting in an IV.  She will be monitored for an hour before they start getting ready to go to surgery.

And We're Off.

Just a quick note before I jump in the shower to "anti-microbe" myself for the 3rd and 4th time in the past 12 hours...First...I love ambien, and I am so glad I asked my doctor for something to help me sleep. Second, the surgery is actually at 7:30, we have to be at the hospital by 5:30 for all the prep stuff and so they can monitor the baby for a good hour before we do anything. But all went well at the pre-op which did include nearly as much as I thought it would. Thanks to everyone who is thinking of us--please keep on crossing your fingers that all goes well...Lets go have a baby!

The Time Has Come...

So we actually have a billion things to do this weekend, none of them too stressful, but I don't know if I'll get a chance to blog before the big day or not. First off, I just want to say that despite being surprised by the timing of this baby, I really am looking forward to having another one. I had a really hard time adjusting to the idea of it, mostly because when I found out I was pregnant Maeli still seemed like such a baby to me...that has worn off and I'm excited to see her as a big sister. I'm super excited to be bringing a boy into the world (although if by some chance it turns out to be a girl, that's quite alright and I hope she likes blue) and I can't wait to see how Jeremy interacts with him. He is such an amazing Dad...they say some women are born with a maternal instinct, Jeremy just gooshes paternal tenderness. When it comes to kids he is just so at ease, and just loves them all to pieces...I could not have picked a better father for my babies and I'm so grateful for all his love and support for me as the mother of his.

This pregnancy has been very different for me, first, the shock of it all. Second, I'm carrying very differently than I did with Maeli and it has been much more painful than I remember (although they say all women get amnesia about pregnancy and child birth or they would never have more). And knowing that this one would be a planned c-section has taken away a little of the wonder, and a lot of the mystery of timing. I am so grateful that we've had the chance to know the date...after such a mess with Maeli I figure this will even the score. I admit I'm nervous about the surgery itself. Jeremy's not a blood and guts kind of guy, so he's super nervous about all the "coulds" but also knowing that he has to be the rock I'll need him to be so that I don't freak out about all the "coulds" puts him in a very tough spot. I think I've focused on the "get to have a c-section" pros and he's tried to ignore the "have to have a c-section" cons and together we're pretty sure it'll all be good. Although I did give him the list of requirements for my replacement should something go terribly wrong...but he did ask our Dr and he hasn't lost one yet.

I'm looking forward to getting to the next part...I love staying at hospitals--it goes back to when I was 9, long story--so I'm actually looking forward to that. And we welcome any and all visitors between 1pm-7pm any day that we're there. I remember one of my old co-workers came to see me at 7 in the morning the day after I had Maeli--not so welcome then, I think Jeremy was still asleep on the couch and I was trying to figure out nursing...anyway...we love afternoon company. And visitors are welcome at the house with at least a 15 minute warning. Grandma is flying in tomorrow and will be here until Spring Break, then we're driving her back to Oregon so we can bless the baby and show him off to the rest of the family. So we'll have help and I don't really think we'll need anything, but I'll be sure to alert someone if that changes.

Jeremy has promised that if all goes well there will be pictures posted on the blog by noon on Monday. If for some reason there aren't, assume its a technical and not a medical issue and we'll get them posted ASAP. If there is anything that people need to worry about we'll make sure Grandma updates the blog with the scoop.

But She's Not Even Two Yet!

Jeremy wants me to preface this by saying this is not typical...

So Maeli had an appointment today with the ENT doctor at 4:10. I pick her up at 2 and didn't want to drive home to Albion just to basically turn around and come back to Pullman, so we opted to "kill some time" She was great, we had some snacks, hid out in the room of toys at my work (for the speech therapy kids) and played until 3:45 ish. The ENT is attached to the hospital, so we drove to the other side (that sounds bad, but it would have taken us a good two hours to walk up the hill to the other side of the hospital...a toddler and a pregnant lady...come on.) We used the potty, washed Maeli's face, took two trips in the elevator, and stopped at the pharmacy to buy more ear plugs. So we check in to her appointment at exactly 4:00..perfect, they have some books, some toys and even a movie...for sure 10 minutes worth of enjoyment. But there are 4 other people/sets of people already in the waiting room...hmmm....so we color for a while....4:15.....read some books....4:23....time for a movie? She wants to watch "Bears" aka Care Bears...ah-there's a bear in jungle book...lets put on that one...4:25...not the bears she's interested in....time to explore. There is a mom with two kids in the waiting room...one kid is probably 10, the other is about 18 months. Maeli decides to investigate Hannah the 18-month old--who by the way is strapped into an infant car seat and hanging out over every edge you can imagine. The 10 year old is rocking the car seat with her foot--Maeli decides to "help" and tips the car seat completely over Hannah and all. Luckily, as Hannah was obviously too big for the seat, she wasn't exactly fragile and kind of thought the tip over was fun, as did Maeli...Hannah's mom did not think it was fun. 4:30...Hannah's mom breaks out the candy as the 10 year old is getting kind of anxious...Twix...Maeli inches over doing her "want to see how cute I can be?" face...and does the sign for "please." That's not our candy Maeli, we'll get some candy after the Doctor looks in your ears...she is glued to the candy bar that is disappearing in chunks...Now- I'm not the kind of Mom that expects everyone to share everything they have with my daughter, no matter how cute she is, but most people would either offer some, try to be discrete, or hurry and eat it all gone, right? Not Hannah's mom, she says the word "candy" about 40 times in the next 10 minutes, Hannah now has chocolate everywhere, and they are down to one last chunk. Now, this whole time I've tried to distract Maeli with anything and everything in the office...some it worked for about 4 seconds at a time, but always back to the candy, with a "please." This lady, very obviously, takes the last chunk of candy bar, put it back in the wrapper, walks over to the garbage can and throws it away...I'm still not expecting her to give my child candy...but she's two...she doesn't want it less just because now its in the trash, only now I have to try to keep her from digging around in the garbage at the Doctor's office. 4:40--please let there be a miracle...they call Baby Hannah, but big sister decides she'll wait and watch some more movie. Ah, but first she has to show Maeli how to work the Water cooler...one hot spout, one cold spout...neither one is out of reach, insert some mom intervention, I might be exhausted, but I'm not going to let her burn her arm off...and the temper tantrum...water! water! water! "Maeli, that water is hot." Candy! Candy Candy! Are you kidding me...on the floor, kicking and whining...and then the lady opens the door, "Maeli!?" 4:52 Instantly she's up, she smiles, points to herself and says"Maeli." The lady (nurse Joey) says "come on back." I'm trying to pick up crayons and books and return the various toys we've stolen from Hannah, so I'm about 10 feet behind them...Maeli is just following along, walks right into the exam room and climbs into the chair. Smiling, with her hands in her lap. Nurse Joey asks me the questions....5:00 exactly, the doctor will be right in...5:02, Dr enters room, Maeli says "Hi." and turns her head so her ear is closer to him, he gets his spotlight looker, checks the ear...for about 40 seconds, she just sits there...all is well, other ear...she turns her head, and leans toward him....another 40 seconds, all is well...no complaining, no whining...what the heck? He says " see you in about 4 months" and she gives him a huge smile, waves bye and plops down out of the chair. Everyone on the way out got a wave and then she held my hand right until we got to the parking lot...at which point she ditched mom and ran head first towards all the cars who were getting ready to leave since it was now 5:08 and work was over. I caught her before she got squished and packed her to the car like a football since she doesn't fit anywhere, and then bribed her with a Binky (which she's only supposed to have at night) to let me buckle her in so we could go home...and of course, my little monster was sleeping like an angle in the back seat by the time we got home so I couldn't even be upset with her....but I ate the candy.

Hmmm...

This is my daughter...

This is my daughter with Dad...

Any questions?

Thank you Grandma

Dear Grandma Terry,
Thank you so much for my Valentine's Day Box of goodies. I was so excited when we went to get the mail and mom said we had a box. We ran to the where they keep the big boxes and used the key to open it up. Mom said, "Maeli, this box is for you!" My eyes got so big and I was so excited I wouldn't let go of the box so mom could buckle me in the car. All the way home I said "open it, open it." At first I thought my new jacket was a pillow, but when mom said "coat" I held it up to me and said, "oh...cute!"
Mom really loves her new red and pink washcloth and her Valentine's Day towels. We spent a long time looking at all the hearts...I really love hearts, so I made sure she saw all of them.
When I found Dad's present I got really excited and yelled, "CANDY!" Mom told me it was for Dad and I thought that was a rip off until I found the little bag of chocolates for me.
Mom let me eat some right away and it was very delicious.
I didn't want to stop eating treats, but then we found the bracelets that you sent and I had to put them all on right away. They matched my outfit and everything. I've worn at least one at some point everyday since I got them. I just love all my surprises.
Thank you so much for loving me. When you come to visit we can play with all my jewelry and have so much fun together. I love you.
Love, Maeli.

T-18 and Counting

okay--one belly shot...that's it. I had an appointment yesterday and all is well...no natural progress is happening--which is good at this point. Tucker is healthy and strong and we're almost feeling ready for him...we're already ready to not be pregnant, but not quite ready for the baby...its a tricky time.

Hooray for the big girl bed!

Maeli is loving being a big girl and getting ready to share a room with her brother. She's made it through the night a few times in her new bed and is getting much better about going back to sleep when she does wake up. I love being able to tell her to "go to Dad's side" when she comes into our room in the middle of the night....its so much easier than getting up and going into her room to see whats going on...we all love the big girl bed! I hope her world isn't too shaken when Tucker starts sleeping in the crib.

Just Like Her Daddy

Maeli has discovered the computer and she loves it! Jeremy found all these toddler games on-line- her favorite is at FisherPrice.com where you have to guess which animal is making the sounds you hear...she learned what a whale says! And now she always wants to play "animals." She's a total addict...I didn't know I'd have to enforce "computer time rules" with my husband and my toddler in order to see either of them.

Hello New Friend

Our new couch came complete with a big hole in the arm rest, so we have to have a replacement sent to us...they sent a whole new couch. Jeremy was dreading doing the whole switch-a-roo since I'm really not very helpful right now and the couch is kind of heavy. Wouldn't you know it...our home teachers called literally like 5 minutes before he was going to start this project to say they were on their way over (Later that night I got the voice mail asking if it was a good night, we just didn't know at the time it was planned). Instant, willing help. The church is such a blessing in so many ways. And we love the new couch, and thus far have been able to keep the "no food on the couch" rule. Maeli did get a little upset when the men starting taking things apart moving stuff around, but I think she forgave everyone when the couch stayed put. That girl does not like her environment changed. So we now have room for guests without having to put everyone on an air mattress...and I've "dozed" a few times on it and so far is pretty comfy.